Section 1.1: The Moment of Diagnosis

I still remember the day I first took Ritalin—just moments after receiving my diagnosis from the psychiatrist. Initially, I was skeptical. Having previously been prescribed medications for depression and generalized anxiety disorder, I was all too familiar with the lengthy onset and unpleasant side effects that often overshadowed any potential benefits.

Yet, within minutes of taking Ritalin, my entire perspective shifted. It felt as if everything clicked into place, akin to a magnetic charger perfectly aligning with a laptop port. Suddenly, my thoughts began to slow, my anxiety lessened, and a sense of clarity enveloped me. Tears streamed down my face as I experienced a mix of pure joy (at last, everything makes sense!) and sorrow (is this how those without ADHD feel all the time?).

While my doctor informed me of Ritalin's possible side effects—like nausea and dizziness—he overlooked a critical one: profound regret. I found myself lamenting the years spent without a diagnosis. I wished I could have articulated my struggles when faced with accusations of being scatterbrained or disorganized. I regretted conforming to societal expectations that didn't suit me, leading to a cycle of failure and self-blame.

Even now, after consistently taking medication, I often find myself regretting that my ability to function “normally” is confined to just a few hours when the medication is effective. I often compare myself to successful neurotypical individuals and mourn my inability to emulate their lifestyles.

Arella, a friend who also lives with ADHD, aptly remarked: "No matter how much you disguise your ADHD using apps or planners, it will always be a part of you."

When I inquire about how neurotypical individuals manage their insecurities, they often advise me to alter or enhance the traits contributing to those feelings. Some suggest I simply ignore my ADHD. However, anyone with ADHD knows that being unaware of one's condition while trying to conform to neurotypical standards can be far more detrimental.

Indeed, receiving a diagnosis can be a double-edged sword. While it equips you with tools to navigate life, it also brings feelings of deep regret and, at times, shame, confirming that you are different.

Section 1.2: The Challenge of Acceptance

Before diagnosis, it's akin to playing a video game on a difficult setting without realizing it, struggling to meet expectations that should feel easy. Post-diagnosis, one becomes aware of the challenging mode they are in and begins to strategize accordingly. This awareness can also breed envy towards those on easier settings.

To cope with these emotions, I've sought inspiration from successful individuals who share the ADHD experience. They all share a common perspective: instead of lamenting something beyond their control, they recognize their ADHD as a difference, not a deficiency.

Debbie Jeffries, a neuropsychologist, credits her heightened empathy and energy to her ADHD. During her training, she realized that sitting still and listening like her neurotypical peers was challenging, leading her to specialize in working with children, where she could engage in a more dynamic manner.

Similarly, Maureen Kelly, founder of Tarte Cosmetics, started her brand while pursuing a PhD in Psychology. Recognizing her struggles with traditional employment, she opted for entrepreneurship instead. Despite lacking a background in cosmetics, her impulsiveness—an ADHD trait—propelled her into the industry, and her strong values helped differentiate her brand in a market that was just beginning to embrace clean beauty.

"It's not that individuals with ADHD can't succeed," Arella emphasized. "Many of us shine brightly compared to neurotypical individuals." She pointed out that while neurotypical people may prioritize stability, those with ADHD often pursue their passions and dreams fervently, refusing to compromise.