Chapter 1: The Duality of Confidence

Recently, a friend posed an intriguing question: how could I experience self-doubt while also having a successful corporate career? This question resonates with many, and the answer is straightforward for me; I often only presented the parts of myself that I felt would be accepted in the workplace.

I frequently express my desire to shift from an external to an internal way of living, to stop hiding aspects of myself that I considered "unacceptable." After leaving my corporate role, I relocated, embraced a new lifestyle, and focused primarily on raising my children. This focus remains central to my life today.

Over the years, I've immersed myself in extensive research about the human mind, gaining a deeper understanding of my inner world, which starkly contrasted with my outer life nine years ago. I’ve shared my discoveries as a way to uncover my true voice and showcase the "real me" to the world.

Tomorrow, I will revisit the city I left almost a decade ago. Although I have engaged in consulting and coaching during this time, I will attend a corporate event for the first time in nine years to support a close friend. This evokes a unique feeling—one that is not negative at all; in fact, I am excited about it.

I’m eager to observe how conversations unfold and how I feel in that environment. A friend mentioned today the importance of focusing on being authentic—embracing my true essence rather than merely presenting an acceptable version of myself. This realization can only occur if I fully embrace all aspects of who I am.

In my previous roles, I often found myself blushing when speaking to unfamiliar faces or addressing groups. Internally, I felt, "Who am I to say this?" I noticed similar reactions in others during high-pressure situations. For me, this was a clear indicator of my comfort level with my identity.

While I had substantial knowledge and experience in my field, I was aware of the deeper, unexpressed dimensions of human interactions. Listening to Tami Simon, CEO of Sounds True, discuss "spiritual entrepreneurship," I recognized that my inner struggle stemmed from a lack of understanding and the vocabulary to articulate my perspective on life, especially in relation to my work.

Over the years, I have delved deeply into the concept of energy. In my corporate days, I simply believed that we are all manifestations of a singular energy. This understanding was vague and mostly experiential. Since then, I have learned how to harness this energy, finding it endlessly fascinating, whether through scientific, experiential, or anecdotal lenses.

Another aspect I sensed but struggled to articulate was the dysfunctional patterns in interpersonal relationships—whether professional, personal, or otherwise. I was entrenched in those patterns, competing for energy, and only by deeply engaging with them for an extended period could I truly understand their implications.

What I truly desired was to be fully understood and accepted, to feel that every part of me was enough and not excessive. To achieve this, I first needed to understand myself and then develop the skills to express those hidden parts while relegating the dysfunctional aspects of my past.

Just recently, I discussed with my partner the importance of his presence in leadership development courses he facilitates. A participant noted how comfortable they felt sharing and learning in his presence. This comfort arises from his confidence in himself and the materials, allowing him to focus on the learners rather than his own insecurities.

Indeed, Tami Simon emphasized the principle of Leading with Presence. She described the feeling of being with someone who embodies presence: "There's an openness, a spaciousness, a welcoming quality. They are both grounded and expansive—receptive to anything that could be shared. Their genuine care and immediate generosity create an inviting atmosphere."

She highlights that we can embody this presence for others, enhancing their experience: "Being present, acting from presence, and creating from presence is profoundly rewarding. We feel whole and engaged in the moment."

This is precisely the direction I chose when I left the corporate world, and as I return, I can appreciate how far I’ve progressed on this journey. While I don’t consistently operate in this space, I feel as though I’ve been replanted, with new growth beginning to sprout.

Now, I approach life with curiosity instead of fear, equipped with the skills to stand in my authenticity, ready to navigate whatever challenges arise. Conversations may start off awkwardly, but I trust that with time and a genuine interest in others, my confidence will flourish.

What about you? Are your inner and outer selves aligned? Can you consistently return to a state of presence? If so, what insights can you share with others? If not, what steps can you take to cultivate a more integrated, engaged, and substantial experience of yourself?

If you found this piece inspiring, you might also appreciate "Live 'What Is' — Choose This Moment, Meditation — The Cornerstone to Your Success," "Give Yourself the Gift of Presence to Relieve the Torture of Stress," and "You Will Flourish When You Take Alone Time to Hear Your Heart." To stay updated, consider subscribing to my blog.

Chapter 2: The Shift to Presence

This video, titled "Present Moment: Go from 'Doing' to 'Being' Mode," offers three valuable tips for cultivating mindfulness and making the shift towards being fully present in your daily life.

In this video, "How to Remain in the Present Moment | Jack Canfield," the speaker shares insights on staying grounded and present, enhancing your ability to engage with life authentically.