Chapter 1: The Fear of Performance

Writing has always been a passion of mine. Yet, there’s a deeper, more personal reason fueling this passion that I seldom reveal—unless, of course, I were to undergo a psychological session with a team of therapists armed with truth serum. In that case, I might admit it: I harbor a profound fear of performing in front of an audience. This is why I prefer to express myself through the written word, using sentences and paragraphs as my protective barrier. The blank page becomes my fortress, while actors serve as my voice, bringing my creations to life on stage and screen.

Recently, I was inspired by a friend, the former President of the Screen Writing Association of Singapore, when she bravely took the stage to perform stand-up comedy at an event called "Siao Cha Bor." In less time than it would have taken her to write a half-hour TV script, she delivered five minutes of sheer audacity.

She didn’t fumble through her performance; instead, she hit every comedic beat perfectly. When I asked if she had memorized her material, she replied that she hadn’t memorized everything but had focused on key phrases and rehearsed extensively. Her emphasis on rehearsal suggested she had put in considerable effort.

Several other performers also took the stage that night, tackling topics often deemed too sensitive for polite conversation—like discussions about parents, bosses, and colleagues. Much of the humor centered around sex, exploring the intricacies of how, with whom, and where intimate encounters occur. The material was bold and refreshing, pushing boundaries into areas that might make some audiences uncomfortable. People either laughed in recognition or to dispel the awkwardness surrounding the subject.

Unlike some of the more explicit acts, my friend’s performance was observational and thought-provoking, reminiscent of Seinfeld’s style. It effectively illuminated everyday issues that often go unnoticed, ultimately enhancing our perception of them.

What struck me most was the immense courage she displayed just by stepping onto that stage. I believe many writers can relate; we often find ourselves uncomfortable under the spotlight. The harsh glare not only blinds us but can also paralyze our creativity. I personally experienced this while playing classical guitar for fun. Years ago, a teacher encouraged me to take an exam, which required me to perform a Tarrega piece solo in front of an audience.

The moment I stepped on stage, I felt the collective gaze of the audience, even though the bright lights obscured their faces. For some, being the center of attention is exhilarating; for me, it felt like an overwhelming weight. The applause was kind, but as I left the stage, I was flooded with a mix of shame and disappointment.

Witnessing my friend’s five-minute stand-up performance was nothing short of inspiring. It served as a reminder for all writers: courage is essential for any artist. I recalled my early days as a television writer, submitting my first scripts and plays, all while battling the inner critic that questioned my worthiness.

Over the years, I’ve learned to silence those doubts. My friend’s stand-up act reinforced the idea that bravery is invaluable for artists. It echoes the famous words of Theodore Roosevelt, which remind us that the true measure of a person lies not in criticism but in their willingness to take risks and strive for greatness.

Nike’s motto captures this sentiment perfectly: JUST DO IT. If you stumble, at least you’ve taken the leap with boldness.

At the end of my life, I hope to reflect on a path defined by action, not riddled with “What if?” moments. To all the comedians who performed at the Siao Cha Bor event, and especially to my friend—your courage is commendable.

Let us all, as aspiring writers and artists, celebrate our courage and seize each day!

Chapter 2: The Value of Daring Greatly

In the end, it’s all about taking risks and embracing the challenge of artistic expression. The journey of a creator is not solely defined by success but by the courage to step into the spotlight, regardless of the outcome.