Chapter 1: The Unexpected Bill

In 2003, my family found itself in a bizarre situation when our phone bill soared to over $2,000.

“This can’t be right!” my dad exclaimed, staring in disbelief at the phone bill.

“Call Qwest! Something has to be wrong; we didn’t add any new services!” my mom shouted from another room.

Having only owned our first home computer for about three years, we were late adopters of technology. My parents could barely manage to print poorly formatted documents or MapQuest directions. Meanwhile, I was well-versed in the digital world, juggling 40 different AIM and Yahoo screen names, chatting with individuals much older than myself, managing two Neopets accounts, and downloading music along with a few viruses using the free P2P software, Kazaa.

“Oh, come on! There’s no way we spent $2,000 on music!” my dad argued on the phone with the service provider.

As I settled into the large leather chair in the office, waiting for him to finish his call so I could connect to the internet and chat with my 23 imaginary boyfriends, I heard him hang up and summon my mom. It was my turn to log on!

Just as the little MSN butterfly signaled that I was connected, my mom entered the room.

“Kenzie???”

“What?” I replied, attempting to look innocent.

“We’ve been charged $2,000 by the phone company for downloading music. You didn’t download anything… did you?”

“I did, but it was free,” I confessed, knowing I couldn’t lie.

“KENZIE!!! WE’RE GOING TO BE SUED BY EMINEM!!”

Of course, Eminem wasn’t coming after us. The reality was that record companies were tracking P2P downloads to the ISP addresses, and our phone company was passing the bill to us. No jail time awaited us; we just had to cough up the ridiculous fine. At 12 years old, I certainly didn’t have $2,000 lying around.

Hearing my mom’s frantic conversation with my dad about my confession, I quickly sensed that I was in big trouble. My parents were known for their occasional disciplinary measures, but this was a new level of chaos. I wasn’t sure how my dad would handle my tall, gangly frame, but I knew I was too old for a mere spanking.

“WHAT IS KAZAA?!” my dad bellowed as he stormed into the room.

I attempted to slip past him, but he caught me, hoisting me up by my shirt and pants before tossing me into my room, ordering me to stay put.

“I knew this computer would be nothing but problems!” I could hear my mom lamenting from downstairs.

“Let me fix it then, KAREN!” my dad retorted.

“Where are YOU going to find $2,000?!” my mom teased, striking a nerve.

Suddenly, I heard furniture scraping, followed by my mom’s horrified scream, “NO JOHN!! NO!!” Then came a loud bang.

My dad had unplugged the computer monitor and flung it down the front steps.

“NO MORE DOWNLOADING MUSIC!!” he shouted up the stairs.

Three weeks later, a shiny new Dell computer arrived, complete with Windows XP! Insurance covered the replacement since their policy excluded only ‘water damage.’ My parents tried to limit my internet access by making me use their new AOL account, but I quickly created my own without them knowing. With a new broadband connection, I was living the dream!

This new computer had a CD burner—something I had always wanted! I discreetly downloaded the more refined P2P program, Limewire, and burned my first CD.

The inaugural track was “Love Roller Coaster” by the Ohio Players. Every time I hear that iconic guitar riff followed by the bass slap, I picture our old Dell crashing down those front steps. Clunk.

11. 20. Fox is an unpublished writer who shares authentic stories from her life. Share your own early internet memories in the comments!

Chapter 2: The Aftermath of Downloading

The video titled "Bill Clinton Kid Goes Off on OF Models HILARIOUS Matan Even Full Stream" captures the hilarity of unexpected moments, much like my own experience.

In the official music video "Kenzie - Anatomy," the playful spirit resonates with the carefree days of youth and the exploration of identity.