Chapter 1: The Rebellion Within

To an outsider observing my life, it might seem like a series of rebellious choices. Indeed, I’ve made decisions that raised eyebrows, defied societal norms, and often led others to question my judgment. I was the one who ventured away from home, embraced unconventional career paths, and once left a secure corporate position to pursue the uncertain allure of travel.

However, when asked, “What takes courage for you to do, or not do?” I realize that my true bravery lies not in these actions but in the moments of restraint and choice to forgo certain traditions.

Growing up in an Asian-American family, I was surrounded by a web of values, customs, and expectations. Respect for elders was non-negotiable, and the extended family was viewed as a vital support system that required loyalty, regardless of reciprocity. Yet, as I navigated the complexities of adulthood, I began to see a disconnect between these principles and my evolving views.

While these values are rooted in love and community, I recognized that love could sometimes masquerade as obligation, and community could overshadow individuality. With time, I started to embrace a powerful yet simple tool: logic. This became my form of rebellion—not against traditions themselves, but against the blind acceptance of them.

I began to question: Why should I maintain relationships solely based on blood ties, especially when negativity permeated every interaction? Why should I concern myself with "what my uncle might think" or "how this might be perceived by distant relatives," when they wouldn’t even consider my feelings?

The courage I once thought was about taking action transformed into the courage of restraint. Each time I opted out of customs that didn’t resonate with me or chose not to engage with people who lacked genuine care, I was embodying that bravery. Unlearning ingrained expectations and prioritizing my well-being over centuries of tradition required more courage than any act of rebellion could ever demand.

This personal journey was fraught with challenges. I faced moments of self-doubt, feelings of guilt, and the fear of distancing myself from my roots. Yet, with each choice to diverge from the norm, I was forging a path defined by understanding rather than mere compliance.

In the beauty of choosing not to participate, I found space for reflection and self-growth. By unlearning expectations, I uncovered my true essence, akin to watching a flower blossom—delicate, graceful, and inherently strong.

There were nights when the weight of my decisions bore down on me, leaving me introspective and teary-eyed. I questioned if stepping back from certain customs or individuals meant losing a part of my identity. However, each morning brought clarity. By shedding what no longer served me, I wasn’t abandoning my culture; I was refining it. I began painting my life with colors that resonated with me, even if they differed from the familiar shades of my upbringing.

My love for my roots only deepened as I became selective in what I embraced. In this discernment, I cultivated genuine respect for both my heritage and myself.

Emotionally, this journey was a tumultuous ride—an exhilarating mix of newfound freedom and guilt. Yet, isn’t growth often a series of highs and lows, each imparting valuable lessons about ourselves?

I began to treasure the relationships that endured these choices. Friends and family who recognized the courage behind my inactions became my anchors, reminding me that true love is unconditional. In these bonds, I found strength and a rhythm to my heart.

It’s easy to get caught up in the urgency of action, but my most profound lessons emerged from stillness and the choices to deviate from the expected path. The courage of restraint has taught me that sometimes, the loudest messages are conveyed in silence.

As I navigate the intricate tapestry of life, I’ve learned to appreciate the beauty of balance—a balance that honors my roots while allowing my individuality to shine. Sometimes, the bravest act is simply to listen to one's heart, even if it means standing still.

Looking back, my life’s highlights include not just the places I’ve traveled or the risks I’ve taken, but also the moments when I chose not to act, refrain from responses, and detach from experiences that didn’t align with my truth. My story encompasses the audacity of actions and the boldness of inactions.

So, if Annelise were to ask me again, I would say: Yes, it took courage to step out, chase dreams, and defy norms. But the most profound journey of my soul has been the path of unlearning, recognizing that sometimes, true courage lies not in action, but in thoughtful inaction.

Chapter 2: The Power of Unlearning

The first video, "Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Talent, and Live More Fully," explores how to break free from societal constraints and express oneself authentically.

The second video, "Unlearn the Crap TV #21 Unlearning Anger; The Path to Emotional Freedom," discusses overcoming emotional barriers and finding true freedom through self-awareness.

This week’s prompt:

What Does It Take Courage For You To Do Or Not Do?

Dancing Elephant Press Prompt 47/52