Chapter 2: The Illusion of Control

Before the pandemic, I clung to the belief that I could dictate the course of my life. I adhered to a strict routine of taking vitamins, exercising regularly, and maintaining a full calendar, convinced that making the “right” decisions would lead to a predictable and successful life. While I recognized that I couldn’t control everything, I lived by the mantra, “If it’s meant to be, it’s up to me.” This mindset was both a privilege and a burden.

The pandemic compelled me to confront and accept life’s unpredictability. I vividly recall the anxiety of whether opening my windows would invite a deadly virus into my home. This heightened uncertainty led me to realize that the only aspect of life I could control was my response to it. As Viktor Frankl wisely said:

Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom.

Through this realization, I learned to navigate the gap between my initial reactions and my external interactions. The more I practiced this, the less reactive and anxious I became.

In essence, the pandemic taught me that life is an ongoing trust exercise with the universe. It’s much easier to trust that I can adapt to whatever arises, rather than trying to manipulate the future.

Explore the three major lessons learned from the past year that have changed my outlook on life.

Chapter 3: Redefining Work-Life Balance

I have long recognized that I was overworking. My career began in a law firm where excessive billable hours were celebrated, leading to an unhealthy obsession with productivity. Despite believing that the shift to remote work would allow me to break free from this cycle, I found myself slipping back into old habits, waking before dawn and working late into the night.

Reflecting on this, it’s clear that my approach to managing stress—by working more—only intensified during chaotic times. Fortunately, I had previously begun practicing meditation and even attended silent retreats. Initially, I approached these retreats with a work mentality, but the pandemic forced me to confront how exhausting constant work could be. It was as if I had been thrown into turbulent waters, and I quickly learned that I needed to incorporate moments of stillness into my daily routine to survive.

Chapter 4: The Value of Relationships

More than a decade ago, a colleague pointed out that I defined myself primarily through my work, whereas he saw himself as a son, husband, and friend. He was absolutely right. Although I knew my identity extended beyond my career, I often overlooked these important roles. This skewed perspective led me to believe that only professional accomplishments mattered.

It’s disheartening to acknowledge this now, especially knowing that the identity I worked hard to build eventually faded away. However, the pandemic highlighted the importance of relationships, as I found myself distanced from loved ones and yearning for connection. Esther Perel’s insights resonated deeply with me: being in relationship nourishes the soul far more than any professional achievement.

Chapter 5: Lessons from Adversity

The global crisis compelled me to embrace these fundamental truths. While I would never wish for the suffering and loss that the pandemic caused, I am grateful for the insights it offered. Three years later, I reflect on the changes I’ve made. What have you let go of during this time, and what do you now cherish more deeply?

Listen to John Maxwell as he shares profound lessons learned from his father that can inspire you on your journey.